Sadly the second you read the title you probably started singing that damn Let it Go song....... UGH!!
Although the song is EVERYWHERE I find it pertaining to my life allot.
"Conceal don't feel don't let it show"
In the last week I feel like my heart has been stomped on more times then I can handle. But I have children so I did my best to hide what I was feeling. I know if they were older they'd be able to tell but lucky me they are young and amazing.
"It's funny how some distance, makes everything seem small
and the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all."
I plan on moving. A few states away. Start over and leave all these memories behind. I can't say I don't want to go but I have to. I will be leaving behind my mom and my sisters who I love dear. I will also be leaving behind a very special someone. Fear is controlling him, keeping him from, coming with me. I don't let fear do that to me if I can help it.
I have a saying. Allot of people that know me know I say this ALL the time.
"I don't let fear rule me. I let it fuel me"
And I mean it. Now we all slip and do dumb things out of fear but when it comes to my family.... I have to do what's best.
"It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me I'm free!"
I've never lived anywhere but here. I've been on my own for almost a decade and home is where I have always been. I have moved around my town but never out of it. I have to get out and live and explore. And allow my children to live a life of freedom that I never really had as a kid.
I realized that my special someone is in the dark. He is comfortable there while wanting to get out. Once again fear has him there stuck there. I cannot be there with him.
I have been.
I realized I've had my back to the light because I was so busy trying to tug him out of the darkness. No more
"HERE I STAND IN THE LIGHT OF DAY!!!
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway"
Love You Austin. Too much